My Life, My Love, My Advice?!

I found myself giving out advice today to a friend. It got me to thinking. I’ve been in her shoes, and now, well, I’m not. So while I think that my advice is sound, I can also remember what it was like to hear it from other people. Blah, blah, blah. It sounds good, and it is good, but while you are in that particular moment of your life, it just sucks to hear it.

She is a single mother, looking for that one particular someone that will sweep her off her feet. All of us tell her, be happy with yourself and your life as it is, first; and then, all else will fall into place. But that is a lonely world. It’s just so much easier said than done.

Then we tell her when she does meet someone, to look past those outer imperfections. So what if he is not “all that”. Look deeper, we say. He could be the man of your dreams, if you would only give him a chance. And if he isn’t “The One”, well then we say maybe he’ll be the one to introduce you “The One”.

But I feel guilty saying that. I’ve heard it, and really didn’t listen to it either.

Then it made me realize that I fell in love with a man of my dreams, the one that swept me off my feet, 21 years ago, actually, 22.

It just wasn’t our time all those years ago. I can look back now and see that I had a lot of growing to do, and I guess the same holds for him. There were experiences to be had, without each other. There were lessons in life that needed to be taught to us, maybe so that we wouldn’t hurt each other along the way. Maybe it was so we could have a better life after we finally did get together.

Here was my thought: All the years ago, when I met him, I had no idea, and really not until this moment, that I would spend all that time trying to find someone that could measure up to him. Of course in hindsight, I can see that I was basically setting every man in my life up for failure. I spent the next 21 years trying to find in other men what it was that he had.

I am lucky. The man of my dreams has it “all”. He’s handsome, thoughtful, fun & outgoing, laid back, and a more wonderful husband and father, than I would ever had imagined.

So while I’m telling my friend to give those not so perfect looking guys a chance, maybe I shouldn’t be doing that at all.

Maybe I should be telling her to Hold Out! Wait until you find that man that makes your heart flutter every time you see him. The man that can make you feel like nothing else matters. Not your past or all those miserable years you spent waiting for “the one”.

It can be a long painful wait, but who am I to tell her different.

It was most definitely worth everything I went through to get with my Prince Charming!